3rd Trimester: The New Phase

It’s no coincidence that I have been slacking on updating this blog. No, I am not being a lazybum, it’s just the pregnancy (good excuse huh?).

Today marks the start of my 3^rd Trimester, and somehow it sends shivers down my spine. 3 more short months, and I’ll be in the labour room, huffing and puffing, till the baby comes out. I already have a preconceived mental image permanently glued on my head on how the labor process will look like, and I assure you, I won’t look like any of those glam mamas you see on instagram. I will most probably look like an insomniac, panda eyes all over from all the deprived sleeps (already?!), flabby chins and round face from all the weight gains, sweat dripping and permeating through my labour room dress, gritting teeth and screaming obscene words (not proud of this) whilst trying to squeeze a 3 odd kgs of sacred human life out from my system.

(Ps-this post was actually written almost 3 weeks ago, so I only have two months left before D-day. Not nervous at all.)

Gahh!! That’s not a pretty sight at all. How do those women actually managed to look tranquil and glowy in their post delivery pics though? Beats me.

2 weeks prior to beginning my 3^rd trimester, I have already started experiencing those ugly thingamajigs that seasoned “warriors” (yes, let’s all call the surviving mummies out there warriors, for all their dedication and commitments throughout the grueling 9 months) talked about earnestly when the topic “baby” pops out.

1. Severe Backpain

This is like the must-go-through part of the pregnancy that I think no women is happy with. Not only you are toting around that extra pounds of flesh every waking time of your last three months, you will look like a penguin doing it. Hurray! I must admit, the boobs look good, but that aside, my body ballooned in areas that I would rather not. You see, my bum is already big as it is, and now they look excessive, and not J.Lo type excessive okay. The pain is especially unbearable when I am sitting at my desk as I work a 9 to 5, and no matter how much I shifted and changed my position i.e. slouching, straight posture, etc, the pain won’t subside. And sometimes, I get so annoyed with the pain that I just resorted to lie on my back for a good 15 minutes at the surau. So, the price you are paying with having all those extra curves is severe backpain that’ll somehow double at night, so bye bye good sleep.

      2. Pelvic Pain

A new-found woe that I have to deal with every single time I hoist myself up from the toilet seat, the bed, the chair, wherever you-name-it. It is this weird feeling that your pelvic muscles, all the way to your inner thigh and abdomen stretches and aches so bad, that you feel like the baby may just tear up your pelvis and deliver itself Species style(you know that alien movie). On a bad day, when I want to poop, and the pelvic pain comes unannounced, I squirmed at the thought of delivering my baby in the loo, instead of pooping. I really hope this is normal and universal qualms that moms around the world are experiencing, no?

3. Zombie Veins

Forget stretch marks, I am so used to them and my husband nicknamed them “thundermarks”. Here, we are talking about blue green veins spiraling across your body, and make you look like a cross between blue cheese and zombie, no kidding. They are everywhere: boobs, thighs, stomachs, but thank god, they don’t spiral all the way to my face, or else no one would’ve recognize me. I am half imagining the doctors in the labour room getting the shock of their lives when a real-life zombie pops in to deliver her baby. That’ll be funny, unless they decided to abandon ship and I am left to deliver the baby myself. NOOO!

4. Swollen feet and legs

Of course, you need to have high water retention and end up with spongy-looking legs and feet. It’s almost the quintessential symptom when you are in your third trimester. No, it’s nothing cute and I find that my feet are so roundish and bloatish and squishy that I can’t fit into any of my shoes. The self-conciousness will always kicks in when I try put on shoes in the shoestore, looking like a wiggling and squirming fat baby who can’t reach her toes. Such a sight, you need to see it to believe it.

5.  Here comes the blood

I know I have told you how I swore by the magic of oats in combatting constipation during my 1^st and 2^nd trimester, but  I am only human, and human don’t eat oats every day, okay? I want my fries and KFCs and spicy food too. So, there you have it, perfect recipe for disaster. Lately, I have been experiencing rectal bleeding after I settle my business. The whole process is not excessively painful, but you know, being pregnant and everything kinda give you this overwhelming urge to feel anxious at everything slightly out of the norm. So, I relented. I feel defeated, and scared, when the bleeding occurs; eventhough I looked it up in google and asked around and found out that it was completely normal. You are either developing hemorrhoids (yikes)or your rectal just need some adjusting to all that shit you are stuffing yourself with. The solution sounds so simple online, eat fibre and drink more water, yeah, as if pregnant women don’t have cravings.

I don’t know if you are having similar symptoms like me (high five, mate!), but do tell me if its any different; because I am told every pregnancy is uniquely special, albeit miraculous(yup).