The Baby Arrives!
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Before the delivery of my baby, whose pictures I have started to showcase to the world like any obsessed first time moms, my gynae popped the million dollar question when we were doing our normal weekly checkups. She asked me whether I would like to deliver my baby earlier than the expected date (which is 2nd June 2018). My brows formed a deep frown at this, "How early?"
Yes, how much sooner can this woman mean? My due date is not that far away already.
"We can do it tomorrow,"she said cheerily. Ahh, I can hear the gears in my brain stopping midtrack, trying to comprehend this joke my gynae was cracking. Funny. "Of course, I can give you some time to ponder on this, but make it quick, your baby is growing. If we wait till next week, there's slim chances of having a normal delivery, most probably you will end up with a c-sect as your baby is huge."
Oh, that doesn't sound like a joke. My husband looked a bit ruffled, and we exchanged glances. C'mon, man of the house, tell me what you think, I willed him with my intense stare. He didn't get it. Pfttt.
"It's all up to you, really, I'm not the one giving birth." he finally broke his silence, shrugging his head.
Really?? It's all up to me? I laughed nervously at the gynae, this is it, I cannot back away from my decision once I opened my mouth, and more than anything, I wish we could turn back time, and I'm back at week 10 maybe, and I promise not to overstuff myself with food.
Nope. Not happening. "OK, let's do tomorrow." I said coolly, and casually, as if I'll be doing brunch with her tomorrow instead of going into the labour room one and a half week earlier than I should.
Just a few days ago, one of my friend told me she had an induced labour well ahead of her due date due to some complications I can't recall, and it was excruciatingly painful. Tomorrow, I will be going through this same "excruciatingly painful" procedure, I gulped, what have I signed myself into?
After making the biggest decision in my life, both me and my husband walked to the parking lot, worried and excited at the same time. I realized, this time tomorrow, perhaps we would be holding our precious little boy, mushy face cuteness that we would readily sacrifice the world for (I mean, my savings, time, sweat, tears, sleep).
We were so worried that we realized we haven't really prepared absolutely everything for his arrival! His blankets, baby oils, nasal suction thing, thermometer, etc. and we quickly made a detour to the nearest babyshop, and shop like a frantic Rebecca Bloomwood during a mid season sale; yes, we absolutely need everthing in the shop.
Whilst driving back, my hands were busy typing urgent messages to my family, office, nearest friends and giving instructions to my replacement on what accounts should be allocated the 3 year Islamic medium term note we have just subscribed and which brokers he should liaise with in case of new subscriptions of IPOs.
I was surprised at my own efficiency when I am under such pressure. Well, not bad not bad, I am one multi tasking mama, I said to myself, *self high five, Barney Stinson style*, not knowing what is to hit me for the next few days, or is it years?
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That morning, after performing our prayers, we readied ourselves for the whole episodes: the waiting, the contractions, the pain, the blood and finally, the baby.
We registered ourselves at the KPJ Ampang Puteri Emergency Unit at around 7.30 am, and was settled into the labour room at 8.15am. Although we requested for a single room ward (post delivery), we were alotted a double bed ward due to room shortages. Well, no complain there as there is not much we can do at that point; although I must forewarn you that sharing a room with another patient is not going to be that comfortable, what with all the pain you are having and the difficulty in moving postpartum.
Anyway, back to the labour room fiasco. Not long after, a nurse came in and injected me with some sort of laxative (you know where) which prompted me to run, yes run, to the toilet. I wasn't very proud of what happened next, so let us skip that. About an hour or so, the same nurse came in again, this time with equipments I don't know the name of and alas, I was induced; I checked the time then, it was 10 am-ish, and I started to feel the contraction pain. I fumed and cried nervously, and reached for my husband when the pain come and go. He consoled me and kept telling me that we will be meeting our son soon enough, his hands massaging my back and my shoulders incessantly.
At that time and moment, I really braced myself for what is to happen and just hoped for the best. The nurse, lets just call her nurse A, lubed her latex glove and reached into me to announce that I was 4 cm dilated. Right then and there, I knew what I had to do.
"Can I request for epidural?" Okay, guys, if you have been going to any prenatal class, epidural won't be offered to you in the labour room, if you think you are abit of a scaredy cat when it comes to pain, request (or beg) for it. On another note, request for it early, like when you are 3-4 cm dilated, not when you are already at 7 cm and about to pop, as it takes time for the epidural liquid (excuse this medical noob) to properly kicks in.
Nurse A quickly went to get a physician, and she arrived with a trayful of medical thingamajigs that again, I don't know the name of, forgive me; but I'm sure somewhere underneath all those equipments, my epidural shot is there.
During my prenatal class, the nurses briefed that although epidural will lessen your pain and numb your senses from the stomach down, it also comes with cons; which I will share with you later on.
CONS #1: It takes time to perform the procedure.
I was asked to sit with my back slightly bent to the front, as the physician took her time to jab a thread thin wire into the centre of my spine, and this process can be slightly painful, but you probably on't notice it as contraction pain is so much worse. What was painful was the sitting position, with bulging tummy under my head and I was asked to relax throughout, no easy feat. I think the whole process takes about 10-15 minutes. After the insertion of the wire to facilitate the flow of the epidural into my body, the physician taped a huge plaster to secure it and then, I wait for the epidural to slowly trickle into my body.
CONS #2: Side effects.
As time passed by, my legs started to feel numb, my breathing slowed, and the contractions pain started to wane off. Its not completely painless, but you feel more at ease, and the pain was reduced from a scale of 10 to maybe 2. After a while, sudden coldness crept in, and I found myself trembling non stop. At first, it was bearable and I can still talk, and then it became too cold and it made me feel weak. Again, I feel painless, just cold. This alarmed not only my husband, who looked panic as ever, but nurses as they stormed in troops to check the baby's heart rate. They blanketed me with cloths and told us that the baby's heart rate needs to be constantly monitered after it plummeted all of a sudden, a side effect of the epidural. The level of the epidural was lowered down and baby's heart rate was stabilised not long after. I was relieved, so was hubs.
But the coldness remains. Nurse A came in again to check on my opening, and when she pushed her hand into me, my water broke and I felt it gushing down onto the floor.
CONS #3: When being painless is not a good thing.
A few hours had passed and I was finally 8cm dilated. Contractions come and go, but the pain was scaled down by the epidural. In come the nurses and my gynae, Dr. Nurul with more equipments than ever. They quickly assembled themselves around me; one spread out my legs and placed them on some heightened stretcher, one spread plastics under my bed, one hold my hand and guided me to breath and Dr. Nurul announced that I can finally push at 9 cm. I was so shocked with the whole tenacity of things and my breathing techniques (which I learned in one of my classes) was forgotten, poof, just like that. Dr. Nurul told me to breath in deeply, control my breath and when the contraction comes, push as if I have the biggest stool ever. Sounds easy, except because of the epidural, the pain was so manageable that I don't have the will to actually push with all my might. In short, I don't feel the big stool she was talking about.
So, I pushed wildly, forgetting how to breath and forgetting how to time my pushings. After about 10 minutes, one of the nurses snapped, and told me to push harder for my baby. Of course, I thought, what is she talking about, of course I was pushing for MY BABY, what else?? She was loud, and kept telling me to push; and I did as I was told, wildly. My husband was at my side, holding my hand, kissing my head and asking me to push as hard as I could. FOR THE BABY.
FOR THE BABY, these words was almost encrypted in my head as I push. Dr. Nurul took out a round shaped equipment, which they called a vacuum and attached it to the baby's head. She told me, that in order for the vacuum to work and the baby pulled out, I have to push harder. I have to tell you this, before my delivery, I purchased this gel product that is to be applied at my opening to prevent major tearing during delivery. This exact gel is making it difficult for Dr. Nurul to attach the vacuum to my baby's head as it is too slippery (the gel). My husband eyes bulged and he looked terrified everytime the vacuum was pulled out from my opening, POP ! and yielded nothing, I can only imagine the trauma my baby will have after all that sucking.
Dr. Nurul pulled out another new set of vacuum, and told me that if I don't push hard enough this time, she will have no choice but to perform a c-sect on me, and in goes the new vacuum. I glanced around nervously, the nurse beside me said "for the baby, push harder." for the uptenth times, and my husband coercing me to make my last push, for the baby.
I pushed again, wildly, strongly, and I dont know how much strong a push I can manage, and how much longer I can push; but I just pushed on.
"The head is out!" the nurses cried and Dr. Nurul said to give it another push, and finally, the baby is out.
I was relieved, but only momentarily; as the baby was lifted and put on my tummy for a split second before an oxygen hose was pushed down his little mouth. He didn't cry like the baby in the next room did, like the baby in the movies did. He didn't even move.
I glimpsed at his small white body, face ashen blue and my heart, broken. I didn't push hard enough, soon enough.
A few nurses circled around my baby and batted his body lightly, whilst one of them hoisted oxygen cup onto his mouth. I looked at my husband, who too, looked broken and in pain. He must have felt disappointed with me.
Then, we heard the shriek, followed by a loud cry. I couldn't hold back my tears, thinking about what ifs and was thankful that my son, whose name we have debated about for months, has finally arrive.
Whilst my husband whispered azan in his small ears, he stopped crying, as if listening intently to what the dad has to say to him. It was magical, that moment.
24th May 2018, at exactly 4.07pm, we welcomed into our lives this mushy cuteness I was telling you about, Mior Daniel Ibrahim bin Mior Mohd Adib.
We registered ourselves at the KPJ Ampang Puteri Emergency Unit at around 7.30 am, and was settled into the labour room at 8.15am. Although we requested for a single room ward (post delivery), we were alotted a double bed ward due to room shortages. Well, no complain there as there is not much we can do at that point; although I must forewarn you that sharing a room with another patient is not going to be that comfortable, what with all the pain you are having and the difficulty in moving postpartum.
Anyway, back to the labour room fiasco. Not long after, a nurse came in and injected me with some sort of laxative (you know where) which prompted me to run, yes run, to the toilet. I wasn't very proud of what happened next, so let us skip that. About an hour or so, the same nurse came in again, this time with equipments I don't know the name of and alas, I was induced; I checked the time then, it was 10 am-ish, and I started to feel the contraction pain. I fumed and cried nervously, and reached for my husband when the pain come and go. He consoled me and kept telling me that we will be meeting our son soon enough, his hands massaging my back and my shoulders incessantly.
At that time and moment, I really braced myself for what is to happen and just hoped for the best. The nurse, lets just call her nurse A, lubed her latex glove and reached into me to announce that I was 4 cm dilated. Right then and there, I knew what I had to do.
"Can I request for epidural?" Okay, guys, if you have been going to any prenatal class, epidural won't be offered to you in the labour room, if you think you are abit of a scaredy cat when it comes to pain, request (or beg) for it. On another note, request for it early, like when you are 3-4 cm dilated, not when you are already at 7 cm and about to pop, as it takes time for the epidural liquid (excuse this medical noob) to properly kicks in.
Nurse A quickly went to get a physician, and she arrived with a trayful of medical thingamajigs that again, I don't know the name of, forgive me; but I'm sure somewhere underneath all those equipments, my epidural shot is there.
During my prenatal class, the nurses briefed that although epidural will lessen your pain and numb your senses from the stomach down, it also comes with cons; which I will share with you later on.
CONS #1: It takes time to perform the procedure.
I was asked to sit with my back slightly bent to the front, as the physician took her time to jab a thread thin wire into the centre of my spine, and this process can be slightly painful, but you probably on't notice it as contraction pain is so much worse. What was painful was the sitting position, with bulging tummy under my head and I was asked to relax throughout, no easy feat. I think the whole process takes about 10-15 minutes. After the insertion of the wire to facilitate the flow of the epidural into my body, the physician taped a huge plaster to secure it and then, I wait for the epidural to slowly trickle into my body.
CONS #2: Side effects.
As time passed by, my legs started to feel numb, my breathing slowed, and the contractions pain started to wane off. Its not completely painless, but you feel more at ease, and the pain was reduced from a scale of 10 to maybe 2. After a while, sudden coldness crept in, and I found myself trembling non stop. At first, it was bearable and I can still talk, and then it became too cold and it made me feel weak. Again, I feel painless, just cold. This alarmed not only my husband, who looked panic as ever, but nurses as they stormed in troops to check the baby's heart rate. They blanketed me with cloths and told us that the baby's heart rate needs to be constantly monitered after it plummeted all of a sudden, a side effect of the epidural. The level of the epidural was lowered down and baby's heart rate was stabilised not long after. I was relieved, so was hubs.
But the coldness remains. Nurse A came in again to check on my opening, and when she pushed her hand into me, my water broke and I felt it gushing down onto the floor.
CONS #3: When being painless is not a good thing.
A few hours had passed and I was finally 8cm dilated. Contractions come and go, but the pain was scaled down by the epidural. In come the nurses and my gynae, Dr. Nurul with more equipments than ever. They quickly assembled themselves around me; one spread out my legs and placed them on some heightened stretcher, one spread plastics under my bed, one hold my hand and guided me to breath and Dr. Nurul announced that I can finally push at 9 cm. I was so shocked with the whole tenacity of things and my breathing techniques (which I learned in one of my classes) was forgotten, poof, just like that. Dr. Nurul told me to breath in deeply, control my breath and when the contraction comes, push as if I have the biggest stool ever. Sounds easy, except because of the epidural, the pain was so manageable that I don't have the will to actually push with all my might. In short, I don't feel the big stool she was talking about.
So, I pushed wildly, forgetting how to breath and forgetting how to time my pushings. After about 10 minutes, one of the nurses snapped, and told me to push harder for my baby. Of course, I thought, what is she talking about, of course I was pushing for MY BABY, what else?? She was loud, and kept telling me to push; and I did as I was told, wildly. My husband was at my side, holding my hand, kissing my head and asking me to push as hard as I could. FOR THE BABY.
FOR THE BABY, these words was almost encrypted in my head as I push. Dr. Nurul took out a round shaped equipment, which they called a vacuum and attached it to the baby's head. She told me, that in order for the vacuum to work and the baby pulled out, I have to push harder. I have to tell you this, before my delivery, I purchased this gel product that is to be applied at my opening to prevent major tearing during delivery. This exact gel is making it difficult for Dr. Nurul to attach the vacuum to my baby's head as it is too slippery (the gel). My husband eyes bulged and he looked terrified everytime the vacuum was pulled out from my opening, POP ! and yielded nothing, I can only imagine the trauma my baby will have after all that sucking.
Dr. Nurul pulled out another new set of vacuum, and told me that if I don't push hard enough this time, she will have no choice but to perform a c-sect on me, and in goes the new vacuum. I glanced around nervously, the nurse beside me said "for the baby, push harder." for the uptenth times, and my husband coercing me to make my last push, for the baby.
I pushed again, wildly, strongly, and I dont know how much strong a push I can manage, and how much longer I can push; but I just pushed on.
"The head is out!" the nurses cried and Dr. Nurul said to give it another push, and finally, the baby is out.
I was relieved, but only momentarily; as the baby was lifted and put on my tummy for a split second before an oxygen hose was pushed down his little mouth. He didn't cry like the baby in the next room did, like the baby in the movies did. He didn't even move.
I glimpsed at his small white body, face ashen blue and my heart, broken. I didn't push hard enough, soon enough.
A few nurses circled around my baby and batted his body lightly, whilst one of them hoisted oxygen cup onto his mouth. I looked at my husband, who too, looked broken and in pain. He must have felt disappointed with me.
Then, we heard the shriek, followed by a loud cry. I couldn't hold back my tears, thinking about what ifs and was thankful that my son, whose name we have debated about for months, has finally arrive.
Whilst my husband whispered azan in his small ears, he stopped crying, as if listening intently to what the dad has to say to him. It was magical, that moment.
24th May 2018, at exactly 4.07pm, we welcomed into our lives this mushy cuteness I was telling you about, Mior Daniel Ibrahim bin Mior Mohd Adib.
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| Welcome to the world, Ibby |
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